“It’s ok for babies to cry, we just need to be there and listen, making physical and eye contact… then we wait.” Lauren Hefferman
Lauren Heffernan is the Founder of Isla-Grace. She’s a certified Holistic Maternity & Child Sleep Consultant and Certified Sleep Educator. She provides information and support to women at different stages of motherhood, and walks each one through the personal journey to become a more confident mother.
In this episode, Lauren and Michelle engage in an honest and profound conversation about parenting and sleep habits. There are a lot of misunderstandings and myths regarding how parents “should” deal with babies’ sleep habits, these concepts bring anxiety, guilt and, the most detrimental aspect is that they force parents to go against their own instincts and beliefs. Lauren shares her knowledge, experience, and tackles the most common fears and worries parents have when dealing with their babies’ emotions, behaviours and habits. Listen to this empowering conversation that will guide you to trust your instincts in order to connect better with your baby.
[3:46] Lauren talks about her personal journey.
[7:00] We lose all control when we have a baby.
[8:48] What do children need from their parents?
[9:11] When we lose confidence as parents.
[11:15] Children need strong leaders.
[11:58] It is not about having the answer, but being the answer.
[13:30] Isla-Grace, a place where parents are encouraged to follow their instincts
[15:24] Our instincts are telling to respond to the crying baby, that is why sleep training doesn’t work.
[15:44] Babies co-regulate their emotions with parents.
[18:38] You don’t need a plan or a book.
[21:55] Carrying mommy guilt.
[23:06] When you leave a baby alone, they are going to feel panic.
[23:55] The idea of a child being independent.
[24:10] For a baby to eventually becoming independent, they need to have a secure attachment.
[26:10] How long is it ok when you are sleep training?
[27:12] All behaviours are rooted in an emotion.
[28:24] Most common factors when there are sleep concerns.
[28:55] Are you afraid of emotions?
[30:45] Mouth breathing.
[33:40] Nobody is meant to sleep with their mouths open.
[37:29] Food sensitivities and iron deficiencies.
[40:54] We help families to change patterns.
[43:04] Have lines for yourself that will keep you calm.
[44:11] No expert will tell you what is the right thing to do, you have to connect to what feels right.
[47:34] Building resilience.
[48:05] The traffic circle.
[50:20] Myth: If your hold your child too much, you are spoiling him.
[50:50] A child needs to have a secure attachment to one primary caregiver.
[52:41] Protecting yourself when you are a sensitive person.
[57:11] What makes Lauren rebellious?
[59:06] Rapid fire questions
Continue on your wild journey…
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Quotes and Tweetables:
“Most of the babies don’t sleep according to the books or the schedules naturally, and then, as parents, we feel like a failure.” #therebelpodcast #baby #sleep #parenthood
“Becoming a mother is the most humbling experience” #therebelpodcast #mother #humble
“Our children need a strong and confident leader as a parent” #therebelpodcast #children #parenting #leaders #confidence
“When parents lose their confidence, a lot of anxiety is caused in the children.” #therebelpodcast #parenting #confidence #anxiety
“No matter what, you are the best parent for your child.” #therebelpodcast #parenting
“Our instincts are telling to respond to the crying baby, that is why sleep training doesn’t work.” #therebelpodcast #followyourinstincts #sleeptraining #babycry
“When you leave a baby alone, they are going to feel panic.” #therebelpodcast #baby #cry #panic
“In order for a baby eventually coming independent, they need to have a secure attachment.” #therebelpodcast #indepence #children #babies #attachment
“All behaviours are rooted in an emotion.” #therebelpodcast #behaviour #emotion
“It’s almost never a sleep issue, it’s a relationship issue.“ #therebelpodcast #sleep #relationships
“Nobody is meant to sleep with their mouths open..” #therebelpodcast #sleep #mouthbreathing
“Noone knows your baby better than you do.” #therebelpodcast #baby #mother
“The biggest predictor of what is going to happen tomorrow is what happens today.” #therebelpodcast #parenting #habits
“Fruit spoils, children don’t” #therebelpodcast #spoling #children